Nothing escapes the notice of men and women who have a vigilant personality style. These individuals posses an exceptional awareness of their environment. Call them Survivors. Their sensory antennae, continuously scanning the people and situations around them, alert them immediately to what is awry, out of place, dissonant or dangerous, especially in their dealings with other people. Vigilant types have a special kind of hearing. They are immediately aware of the mixed messages, hidden motivations, the evasions and the subtlest distortions of the truth that elude or delude less gifted observers. With such focus, vigilant individuals naturally assume the roles of social critic, watchdog and crusader in their private or our public domain, ready to spring upon the improprieties--especially the abuses of power--that poison human affairs. The following six traits and behaviors are clues to the presence of the vigilant "survivor" style. - Autonomy. Vigilant individuals posses a resilient independence. They keep their own counsel, they require no outside reassurance or advice, they make decisions easily and they take care of themselves.
- Caution. They are careful in their dealings with others, preferring to size up a person before entering a relationship.
- Perceptiveness. They are good listeners, with an ear for subtlety, tone and multiple levels of communication.
- Self-defense. Individuals with vigilant style are feisty and do not hesitate to stand up for themselves, especially when they are under attack.
- Alertness to criticism. They take criticism very seriously, without becoming intimidated.
- Fidelity. They place a high premium on fidelity and loyalty. They work hard to earn it and they never take it for granted.
Tips for dealing with the vigilant (survivor) person in your life: - Even though they appear confident, they need your respect. Express, show and otherwise prove it often.
- If you would like to get to know the vigilant person, do not hesitate to pursue this person. Even though it may be slow, persist.
- Avoid competition and power struggles, the vigilant person needs to feel in control.
- Take the lead socially. The vigilant person in your life will appreciate your greater ease in getting to know people and making plans with them
- Don't tease. Vigilant people often have a good sense of humor but not about themselves.
- If the vigilant person in your life is unjustifiably jealous or worried about your loyalty, don't be flippant or dismiss these concerns as silly. Don't take their concerns lightly.
- Accept that if you slight this person, unintentionally or otherwise, he or she will have a long memory.
|
|
|
This is the time of year that many people think of making personal changes for the new year, "new year resolutions." I believe people can change but the mistake they make is "resolutionS" instead of A "RESOLUTION!" People have so much on their plate and the fact that we are creatures of habit limits how much we can change at one time. Here are some of the most common resolutions: I'm going to lose weight
I'm going to stop smoking
I'm going to start exercising more
I'm going to pay off credit cards
I'm going to save for a vacation
I'm going to get the house refinanced
And after 10 days working on all of these, a person gets worn out! And now you are stuck with a gym membership! It is OK to want all of these things but it is best to work on them one at a time. Have you heard that it takes 21 days to make a new habit? How about 28 days? 31 days? When I stopped smoking, I used the 21 day theory and it didn't work. I got over needing a cigarette but still had desires that lasted for 6 months before the habit was "kicked." The amount of time it takes to make a change depends on the habit.
I think you can make multiple changes and improvements in a year but I think they should be done one at a time. Work on it for a couple months until it feels real then you can move on to something new. Think about how great it would be if you could change or improve 4 things in your life over the course of a year.
As you set goals for 2012, plan 1-2 goals in each of the following areas:
1. Spiritual/Value Goals ex: Start going to church weekly
Work with Habitat for Humanity one Saturday a month
Donate time in a homeless shelter
These are goals that impact not only yourself but others as well.
2. Family/Relationship Goals ex: Spending more time with your children each night
Having a "date night" with your spouse
Planning a family vacation 3. Health/Physical Goals ex: Exercising 5 days per week for 30 minutes each (if you aren't doing anything start with 2-3 days per week)
Eating healthier foods
Join Weight Watchers and lose 15 pounds
4. Career/Financial Goals ex: Pay off a couple credit cards
Start a savings account for emergencies
Increase your retirement savings
Ask for a raise Here is how to make things happen after a few hours of planning:
A. Discuss and agree with your significant other on the goals you wish to pursue.
B. Put the goals in writing and stick them on your refrigerator door so you can see them every day. (Read them aloud a couple times a day for added impact.)
C. Do something; don't let procrastination get the best of you. Break the goal down to smaller more manageable pieces. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
D. Develop a plan and work it. Have a strategy; make it a priority.
THIS CAN BE YOUR BEST YEAR EVER!!
|
|
|
Here are Dave's 7 keys to success:
1. Success is predictable, duplicable and achievable.
2. Results change when you change your programming.
3. Create a clear vision: know what you want.
4. Build relationships with those who hold you to higher standards.
5. Always give more than expected.
6. Live in an attitude of gratitude.
7. Be accountable. If you say you will do something, do it.
|
|
|
Few people in any field ever reach the ultimate top without a strong sense of moral values. The person who does gain a position of prestige or power with a character not completely honest will soon be uncovered for the weakness. Power or authority demands integrity of the highest type, for without it the occupant of the position will sooner or later give in to the temptation to abuse authority. And even in lesser positions, a strong and sincere sense of morality is a requisite for winning and holding respect and confidence of others in the face of the everyday temptations to deal and contrive as being easier alternatives to thinking and planning.
To say that a person can be a little dishonest in business is comparable to saying that a woman can be a little bit pregnant. A man is either honest or he is not; he either has integrity or he does not. In the book "The Leadership Challenge" the authors interviewed over 3,000,000 managers and supervisors to find what worked and honesty was consistently in the top 5 qualities.
Ken Gaebler, CEO of Gaebler Ventures, says that the biggest factor in whether to fund a start up is its management team, do they have the integrity and ethics to do right by their investors, employees and customers.
Legendary entrepreneur Warren Buffett put it this way: "Trust is like the air we breathe. When it's present, nobody really notices. But when it's absent, everybody notices."
Gaebler says the first step is to be the ethical model your self, "if your employees see you cutting corners and consistently working in gray areas, then they are probably going to do the same thing regardless of what your code of ethics says. It's a monkey-see, monkey-do world we live in and like it or not, you're the big monkey everyone looks up to in your company."
If your desire is to work in an atmosphere of high standards, "The Big Enough Company" says you need three kinds of honesty:
Honesty with others - It's about owning a mistake when you mess up and admitting when you are wrong.
Honesty with self - Be brutally honest with yourself about what you really want from your job and your business.
Honesty about the experience - While you don't need to publicly sound the alarm each time you have a concern, there is a cost that comes with claiming that everything is all roses. It makes you unreliable to your peers.
|
|
|
"Star Quality"
Self-Confident individuals stand out. They're the leaders, the shining lights, the attention getters in their public or private spheres. Theirs is a star quality born of self-regard, self-respect, self certainty-all those self words that denote a faith in oneself and a commitment to one's self styled purpose. Combined with ambition that marks this style, that magical self-regard can transform idle dreams into real accomplishment.
The Self-Confident personality style is one of the two most goal-directed. Self-Confident men and women know what they want, and they get it. Many of them have the charisma to attract plenty of others to their goals. They are extroverted and intensely political. They know how to work the crowd, how to motivate it, and how to lead it. Hitch on to their bandwagons, and you will be rewarded.
The Self-Confident style adds go-getting power to other personality styles. For example, it counteracts the conscientious person's tendency to get sidetracked by details, and it fuels the adventurous person's great feats of daring. It propels any personality pattern into the realm of success. Indeed, the Self-Confident style confers an ability to be successful more than any but the aggressive personality style.
The following nine traits and behaviors are clues to the presence of the Self-Confident style:
1. Self Regard - Self-Confident individuals believe in themselves and in their abilities.
2. The Red Carpet - They expect others to treat them well at all times.
3. Ambition - Self-Confident people are unabashedly open about their aspirations and possibilities.
4. Politics - They are able to take advantage of the strengths and abilities of other people in order to achieve their goals.
5. Competition - They are able competitors, they love getting to the top.
6. Stature - They identify with people of high rank and status.
7. Dreams - Self-Confident individuals are able to visualize themselves as the hero, the star, the best in their role.
8. Self-awareness - These individuals have a keen awareness of their thoughts and feelings.
9. Poise - People with the Self-Confident personality style accept compliments, praise, and admiration gracefully.
Self-Confident individuals are genuine, often gifted leaders. If this is your dominant style, follow ambitions that lead toward leadership and the lime-light.
|
|
Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper!
Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips - from taking a timeout to using "I" statements - to stay in control.
Do you find yourself fuming when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure go through the roof when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion - but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.
1: Take a timeout: Counting to 10 isn't just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit.
2: Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
3: Get some exercise:Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other favorite physical activities. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.
4: Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything - and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
5: Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening - or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything, and might only make it worse.
6: Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame - which might only increase tension - use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."
7: Don't hold a grudge:Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.
8: Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though - it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9: Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses - whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10: Know when to seek help:Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. You might explore local anger management classes or anger management counseling. With professional help, you can!
**Thanks to the staff of the Mayo Clinic for help with this information
|
|
|
To improve your memory there are some general principles that are required if you want to train yourself to remember more effectively. The following seven principles will help you understand factors that are essential to memory improvement.
Memory can be improved through:
1. Interest - It is much easier to remember things that are of interest. Interest helps you store and process information in such a way that you remember it for a long time.
2. Selection - By choosing the most significant points about an issue, there is no need to remember everything in detail. You will be able to recall it a month, a year, or even 5 years from now.
3. Attention - Pay attention to what you want to remember. Attending to one thing at a time will help you clarify the task, event or even a person's name.
4. Understanding - It is easier to learn and remember something when it is understood. The more new information can be associated with something you already know, the more meaning it will have.
5. Intention to Remember - We are more likely to recall something when we intend to remember it. It increases our "original awareness."
6. Confidence - Positive Mind Set - Without having confidence in our ability to remember, our "will" to remember becomes nothing more than a mere hope. Use positive affirmations about your memory instead of joking how bad it is.
7. Ego Involvement - Much of what we experience falls in one of two categories: things that please us (or we agree with) or things that displease us (or we disagree with). We seem to learn best when material reinforces our strengths, opinions or beliefs.
Memory is a skill. Like any skill, it can be improved with practice. With the right attitude, you can have fun learning to improve your ability to remember. You'll be surprised how fast you will increase what you remember with practice.
How is your memory? IT IS GREAT!
|
|
|
|
<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 Next > End >>
|
| Results 1 - 11 of 23 |
Blog